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Roy S. Flying Brick Rider

Joined: 05 Mar 2008 Posts: 1349 Location: W. Sacramento, California
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Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 6:39 pm Post subject: The Harley-Davidson Facts |
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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles
have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson
motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'
God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise
and pollution and can't run without a road?'
Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'
God said, 'Ah, yes.'
'Well,' said Arthur, professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention !
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!
'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'. _________________ 1993 K1100LT/On going project
1990 K75rt
1991 K75s
LURKER at LARGE |
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mnb Flying Brick Rider

Joined: 20 Jun 2007 Posts: 660 Location: San Jose, CA
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Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 8:42 pm Post subject: |
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probably a repost, but....
Reasons Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women
- Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
- Motorcycles' curves never sag.
- Motorcycles last longer.
- Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
- You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.
- Motorcycles don't have parents.
- Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
- You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
- You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
- If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
- You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is _really_ worn.
- If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
- Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
- When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
- Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
- Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
- New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
- If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
- If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
- If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
- If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
- You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
- You can have a black Motorcycle and show it to your parents.
- You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
- You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
- You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
- If you say bad things to your Motorcycle, you don't have to apoligize before you can ride it again.
- You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
- Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
- Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
- Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
- Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
- Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
- You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
- It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
- If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
- You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
With all those reasons, it would seem some men aren't all that bright! Present folk excepted, of course (being bikers and all...) _________________ M N B
1997 BMW K1100LT ABS Special Edition
2003 Husqvarna TE610e
2007 Harley Davidson Road King
2009 BMW F800GS
2011 Husqvarna TE310
2014 Ducati Multistrada Pikes Peak MNB Edition |
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Roy S. Flying Brick Rider

Joined: 05 Mar 2008 Posts: 1349 Location: W. Sacramento, California
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Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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| mnb wrote: | probably a repost, but....
Reasons Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Women
- Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
- Motorcycles' curves never sag.
- Motorcycles last longer.
- Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
- You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.
- Motorcycles don't have parents.
- Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
- You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
- You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
- If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
- You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is _really_ worn.
- If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
- Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
- When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
- Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
- Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
- New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
- If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
- If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
- If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
- If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
- You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
- You can have a black Motorcycle and show it to your parents.
- You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
- You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
- You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
- If you say bad things to your Motorcycle, you don't have to apoligize before you can ride it again.
- You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
- Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
- Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
- Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
- Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
- Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
- You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
- It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
- If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
- You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
With all those reasons, it would seem some men aren't all that bright! Present folk excepted, of course (being bikers and all...) |
I have not seen this before... I love it  _________________ 1993 K1100LT/On going project
1990 K75rt
1991 K75s
LURKER at LARGE |
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Off the grid Chaotic Good

Joined: 05 Jul 2006 Posts: 3414 Location: At the local taco truck waiting for Jo.
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Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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# Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
# You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
# If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
# Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
# Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
# Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
Wife laughed at these.
Pretty funny, I think I got really lucky with my wife. _________________ Bane of your existence since July 2006
2007 Triumph Tiger ABS. "Sabertooth"
2009 Husqvarna TE610. "The dirty Italian mistress"
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SugarHillCTD Site Admin

Joined: 10 Oct 2007 Posts: 4238 Location: Now in Eastern Pennsylvania
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Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:47 am Post subject: |
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| Off the grid wrote: | | ....Pretty funny, I think I got really lucky with my wife. |
If she finds some of those funny, you ARE a lucky man. _________________ John & Cathy
'92 K100RS4V Pearl White SOLD
'04 K1200GT
IBA Several-SS1k, BBG, 50CC NYC to S.F. |
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Shoganai Biscuit Fluffer

Joined: 27 Apr 2005 Posts: 2234 Location: Culpeper,VA
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Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:13 am Post subject: Counter Point |
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Reasons Why Motorcycles Are Better Than Men
1. Doesn't ride with other girls while you are not looking.
2. You can turn the petcock off.
3. Doesn't run for 5 minutes and quit.
4. You are always on top.
5. You can have more than one motorcycle.
6. You only have to ride when you want to.
7. You can dress it and clean it anyway you want it and it doesn't complain
8. You always finish first.
9. Doesn't get bored if you take it to hang out with your friends.
10. Doesn't care how you look
11. Doesn't care how big your boobs are.
12. Doesn't care if you gained a little weight
13. Doesn't complain when you don't ride.
14. The exhaust is something you can handle.
15. It never develops spare tires.
16. If it goes bald, you can change the tires.
17. Doesn't complain when you use protection
18. Can't get you pregnant or give you a disease if you don't use protection
19. You don't have to kick it out of bed.
20. You can choke a bike and it isn't a bad thing.
21. You can ride it as long as you want without it going limp.
22. You don't have to drink to make it look appealing.
23. Your motorcycle won't insult you.
24. A smooth motorcycle expects nothing in return.
25. Your motorcycle will never make you late
26. You don't have to fake it with your motorcycle.
27. Your motorcycle will not lie to you.
28. It will not poke you in the back in the morning when it wants to ride.
29. It has a built-in vibrator.
30. It won't shrink when it is cold.
31. You don't have to cook for your motorcycle.
32. The motorcycle doesn't snore.
33. Your motorcycle will never ask you to ride 2 up.
34. Your bike will never check other bikes that are cooler or thinner than you. _________________ 1993 K1100RS aka The Shop Whore
1994 K1100RS aka Blue Streak
The long road is a rainbow and the pot of gold lies there.
So slip the chain and I'm off again,
You'll find me everywhere. I'm a Rover. - JT
Nana korobi ya oki |
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BobZ(IL) Rider in the Sky

Joined: 20 May 2007 Posts: 651 Location: Bourbonnais, IL
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Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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You can put lipstick on a Harley, but it's still a.........(fill in the blank). _________________ '93 K1100LT
'78 R100S
'05 R1200GS
BMWMOA, CRBMWOA, ABC, K11OG #997
Live well, do good work, enjoy the ride. |
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