Jim
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Joined: 17 May 2003
Posts: 3831
Location: WHERETHEFUNNEVERENDS
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 Posted: Wed Oct 05, 2022 6:21 pm Post subject: When Grandma Goes to Court... |
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Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness - a grandmotherly, older woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their back. You think you're a big shot, but you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice said,
"If either of you idiots asks her if she know me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."
_________________
Jim
1997 K1100LTSE 94,000 - has gremlins!
1995 R100RT Classic 16,650 crashed!
1992 K75RTP 46,000 - RUNNING - at last!
1992 R100R 24,000 - FOR SALE
"We shall not all die, but we shall all be changed." |
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