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The "Man" Rules

 
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Klinker
Flying Brick Rider


Joined: 28 Aug 2006
Posts: 876
Location: SD I-90

PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 8:25 pm    Post subject: The "Man" Rules Reply with quote

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

Please note... These are all numbered "1" on purpose!

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be..

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! JUST SAY IT!

1. "Yes" and "no" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin i s also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, i know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
_________________
tlp
1994 K1100RS

Only the Reasonists. They believe in an evidence-based world, something called Rationalism. But it's a tiny group, not so influential.
- Page Griffin
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Eurocycleguy



Joined: 30 Mar 2013
Posts: 21

PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 11:08 am    Post subject: Men rules Reply with quote

I might show this to my wife. Darn it I WILL! Laughing
_________________
1967 SEARS (Gilera) 106SS
1974 Laverda 750GTF
(looks like I need something from the '80s in this spot)
1996 BMW K1100RS
Numerous others I wish I still had and couple that I don't
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drikko
Flying Brick Rider


Joined: 20 Nov 2009
Posts: 1966
Location: Brisbane, OZ

PostPosted: Wed May 29, 2013 2:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Men rules Reply with quote

Eurocycleguy wrote:
I might show this to my wife. Darn it I WILL! Laughing


Good luck with that...... Shocked Shocked Shocked
_________________
K1100RS '97
Laverda RGS 1000 '84
Jim Young Trailer Sailer 5.7M WB

DISCLAIMER:- Anything I say may have been when I was drunk so please don't take it personally.

'Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.'
Oscar Wilde
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