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Getting old in Florida

 
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Roy S.
Flying Brick Rider


Joined: 05 Mar 2008
Posts: 1349
Location: W. Sacramento, California

PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:25 am    Post subject: Getting old in Florida Reply with quote

Laughing



Getting old in Florida

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in BonitaSprings , doing nothing.

One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'

The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'

The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'

The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'

**********************************************************

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Ft. Lauderdale reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece..

The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about.

**********************************************************

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, aFlorida Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'

He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'

'So, where were you all these years?'

'In prison,' he says.

'Why did they put you in prison?'

He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'

'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'

**********************************************************

Two elderly people living in Ft. Myers , he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse.

The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes. Yes, I will!'

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?'

He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her..

First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ' Yes' or did you say 'No'?'

He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued, 'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A man was telling his neighbor in Miami , 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Naples , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids

Life is
short!
Break the rules!
Forgive quickly!

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably..
And never regret
anything that made you smile

The best things in life are free until the government finds out and taxes it.
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jpberens1994K1100RS
Flying Brick Rider


Joined: 06 Apr 2008
Posts: 784
Location: Hales Corners, WI. / Relocating to central FL.

PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 8:36 am    Post subject: gettin old Reply with quote

Good examples of how growing old ain't for sissy's.
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drikko
Flying Brick Rider


Joined: 20 Nov 2009
Posts: 1966
Location: Brisbane, OZ

PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 2:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's certainly no place for the young and unwary.....
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DISCLAIMER:- Anything I say may have been when I was drunk so please don't take it personally.

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Oscar Wilde
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Phil Marvin
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Joined: 03 Apr 2003
Posts: 1389
Location: El Paso, Texas, USA

PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 3:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why is it that youth is always wasted on the young?
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Scott_Anderson
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Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 3127
Location: Central Iowa, USA

PostPosted: Tue Jun 01, 2010 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And the young don't seem to aquire wisdom very fast either.

I had to chuckle at some of the names.
I have been to Ft. Myers, and I picked up my '97LT in Bonita Springs.
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Phil Marvin
Rider in the Sky


Joined: 03 Apr 2003
Posts: 1389
Location: El Paso, Texas, USA

PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 8:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Scott_Anderson wrote:
And the young don't seem to aquire wisdom very fast either.

I had to chuckle at some of the names.
I have been to Ft. Myers, and I picked up my '97LT in Bonita Springs.


And I was raised in Mt. Dora (1957-1967). I was even "invited" to attend a Klan rally near there, an honor(?) I declined.
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Phil Marvin in El Paso, TX
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'95 K75RTP
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Jim
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Joined: 17 May 2003
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Location: WHERETHEFUNNEVERENDS

PostPosted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 8:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Florida = God's Waiting Room
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Jim
1997 K1100LTSE 94,000 - still has gremlins!
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1992 K75RTP 46,000

"We shall not all die, but we shall all be changed."
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